Wallops #6

[cbmvax!uunet!MULLIAN.EE.MU.OZ.AU!cuvmb.cc.columbia.edu!nsn]

>From "Greek Mythology", by Greek humorist and slang devotee Nikos Tsiforos.
(1900-1970) pp 309-311

This one does need a word-for-word. I recognise that many tanru and lujvo
here are very weak, and welcome advice. Suggestions on UI are also requested.
 ---


The suckerdom of people, on which each religion is based, has been the selfsame
from the first day till even today.

She calls you.

--- Human, says she, you are the centre of the earth, right?

And you are the centre of the earth. Indeed. From you starts the look which
reaches to up amongst the immobile frozen stars, from you starts the hearing
which picks up the song of the leaves and the music of Tchaikovsky, from you
start desires, the fear of tomorrow, innate instincts, greed, the hate for
destroying, the desire for creating, the struggle for surviving, all from you,
and here in your chest, to the right of your heart, you feel a teesny little
thing which is some little bird from the wind and is called a soul, whether
you want to or not, you believe in the end that you're the centre of the
creation of the Universe and you buy it that you're important and great and
you think it over in that mysterious radar called the subconscious.

--- Yeah men, that's me. That's right, me. Of course. Say sompen?

Religion has given you the golden pill, whichever religion it may be, and
it's laughing on the inside and tells you on the outside:

--- You see, you sly fox?

And all of a sudden, when you're all happy about becoming a centre, she
clouts you around the ears.

--- Take that, you jerk.

So you're bemused. "Excuse me, how dare you clout a centre of Creation?
Please show some breeding."

Religion bursts out laughing most rudely in your face.

--- You're gonna die, you jerk.

Here your feet go all weak. You go yellow.

--- Come again?

--- You're gonna die.

A dreadful thing to say, bite your tongue and move from your spot, but still,
it's true...

--- That's right, you're gonna die, says Religion, and flowers will blossom
in the spring and streams will flow with silver-water and doner kebabs will
turn and excite people's noses and girls will wear linen dresses. Everything
will be pretty, lit billboards, cars, picnics, butterflies dancing about the
light.

Devil take his father! Just think! All that will exist and you - nix. They'll
have shoved you into the ground, down at some ungrateful cemetery, in the
beginning there'll be enough care to light you a filthy candle and pray the
Trisagion for you, then your closest relatives will forget you, they'll start
smiling timidly to later reach the bass guffaw, some crappy dogs might piss
on your grave, and later, in two generations, nobody will study you - who
studies their greatgrandfather? - and there won't be, my poor idiot, even a
memorial urnful left of you in the world.

Now you go all chilly.

--- Holy Moly! What bad luck!

This is what Religion's been waiting for. Throw you in the well of despair,
and now she offers her hand.

--- Come

--- What?

--- Come, you dolt, you're not dying, I'm not letting you.

--- You serious?

--- Now hang on. Let's be clear: you will die, but what will I arrange for
you? Whatever will I arrange for you!

--- What?

--- Eternal life.

And she opens you a door and shoves you in, the Christian into a blue-
garden paradise, the Muslim into a honey-and-pilaff paradise, the Hindu into
a nirvana of absolute tranquility and each cuckold has fixed up his own
paradise with his own set designer and is now advertising it like a travel
agency, "Vizit'ez les Canaries" and nice things like that.

It's no good for you, Mister, to be lost and to turn into dirt and in accordance
with the law of the indestructability of matter that your materials return to
the earth, "old materials from a demolition for sale" and that your soul unite
again with the great fluidity of the Universe and go uniform with it and lose
its self. Because death means this: "Lose your self". And because you want to
exist in all this that you know exists, you give your hand.

--- Shit, get me out of this, and anything you want is yours.

Religion has gained you now that you're alive, because dead you're not much
use to her. And from now on she runs you as is convenient to her. If things
get tough, it's not all just flower gardens. It's ovens too. She shoves you
in and you get turned into a stew, world without end. And she scares you:

-- Watch out now that you're alive and there's time to do what I say, otherwise
I can see you with garlic in the oven.

And if you're tough, you can good and do otherwise.

That's it. Someone once said: "Religion is a company which publishes shares
in nonexistant mines." I don't remember who said it, but I reckon it was me.
And nobody gets any dividends from these shares, but only the managing
committee eats well. I reckon I said that too, and I'm going to hell, I know.

di'e pagbu la'elu lei xelso ranmi li'u pefi'e la nikos.tsiforos. noi natmrxelso
xamfinti je pilno be le to'e ritli jaitai cusku bei lenu larsku zi'ene la
1900nan ce'o la 1970 .itu'e

The following is part of "The mass of Greek Legends", the one invented by N.T
who was a (nation) Greek comical-inventor and user of the unformal manner of
speaking in art-expression, and associated with that call the 1900 year and then
the 1970 year.

leka lei remna cu se tcica noi jicmu ro lijda cu nalcne co'a le pamoi djedi
co'i le cabdei

The quality, that People are deceived, which is the basis of all religion, is
invariant starting with the first day continuing today.

.i krixa klacpe do
.ilu doi remna to'i le lijda cu bacru toi do midju le rolzda .iepei li'u

Shout requests-to-come you. [mi klacpe le klama le se klama le te klama le
ve klama le xe klama le ve cpedu; le te cpedu du ca'e le klama]
"O Human [religion utters] you are the middle of the all-house (Agree?)"

.iru'a do midju le rolzda .ija'a go'i .i do se krasi le nu catlu noi te zgana
lei narli'u ke dunja tarci .i do se krasi le nu tirna noi ganse le pezli
savru .e le zgike be la tcaiKOFSK. i do se krasi le nundji .e le nunterpa
be le balvi be'o.e le jinzi nu nalsanjypei .e lenu selposnei .e lenu
xebni semu'i le nunspo kei .e lenu prami semu'i le nunfinti kei .e lenu
dapma mu'i le nunrenvi .i do go'i roda .ice do ganse le cmacai pene'i le
cutne be do zi'eperi'u le risna zi'enoi cipna ra'i le brife gi'e se cmene
zo pruxi .ija'ebo gu do djica lenu krici lenu do midju le munje gi do cazu
ca'a krici gi'e jinvi lenu do banli joi vajni kei gi'e pensi le nunmidju
ci'e le nalseljuncizra menbra no'u leka nalsanji

(Postulate) you are the middle of the all-house. This is true. You are the
origin of looking which is the means of observing the nontravelling frozen
stars.  You are the origin of the listening which senses the leaf noise and
the music by Chaykofsk. You are the origin of desiring and fearing the
future and the innate unconscious-thinking and the possession-liking and
the hate which motivates destruction and the love which motivates creating
and the fight that is motivated by surviving. You are so for everything.
As well, you sense the very small in your chest and to the right of the
heart and which is a bird from the wind and which is named "spirit". As a
result, whether or not you want that you believe that you are a middle,
you now (more or less) actually believe and opine that you are great'n'
important and you think of the event of being a middle, in the system
of the unknown-strange mental apparatus which is the unawareness

.ilu .iecai mi go'i ga'i .i ba'e mi .o'a .i fatci .i'apeile'o li'u

.i le lidja ba'o cusku le ve tcica do va'onai le du be vo'a .i ra mipri
ckasu gi'e jarco bacru lu .i'edoi se xaurfunca li'u

.i do carmi se pluka lenu binxo lo midju .i suksa fa lenu le lijda cu
dapdarxi do

.ilu .ionai doi bebna li'u


"(Intense agreement) I am so (haughty). *ME* (Pride). A fact (Accept? Aggress)"

Religion has expressed the means of deception to you, not linked to the
environment of the "is" of it. It secret mocks and showingly utters "(Approve)
lucky one"

You are intensely pleased that become a middle. Sudden is that religion curse-
hits you"

"(Disrespect) O fool"

.iseki'ubo do se cfipu kucli .ilu .e'anairo'a ca'i ma do dapdarxi lo midju
be le munje .i.e'osai ko jikca clite li'u

.i le lijda cu jikyfanza cmila co crane do

.ilu do ba morsi .ionaidoi bebna li'u

.i do cazico'a se tuple lo ruble .i do kandi

.ilu je'ecu'i li'u

.ilu do ba morsi .u'anai li'u

For this reason you are confused curious. "(Prohibition - Social) With authority
which? you curse-hit X such that X is a middle. (Strong request) Be socialising
polite."

Religion social-annoying laughs in front of you.

"You will die (Disrespect) O fool"

You right now start having as legs weak things. You are dim.

"(Roger?)"

"You will die (Yawn)"

.i le se cusku cu xlali .ice le kulnu tcaci zo'u .a'o.ianai citka le tance
gi'e .e'u muvdu vo'a le cazi stuzi .iku'i .ie.i'enai le selsku cu jetnu

.ilu do ja'aba morsi to'i le lijda cu bacru toi .icabo lei xrula cu makcu ca
le vensa .ice lei cmari'e cu flecu le rijno .ice lei re'urjupcarbra cu carna
ja'e lenu cpina leka sumne .ice lei citni'u cu dasni le matli pastu .icajeba
melbi fa roda .i go'i fa lei gusni ve'usni .e lei karce .e lei nurma ctisalci
.e lei toldi poi dansu ru'u loi gusni li'u

The thing expressed is bad. For cultural custom, (Unreal hope) eats the tongue
and (suggestion) moves itself from the current place. However (Agree Disapprove)
the thing expressed is true.

"You will truly in the future be dead [Religion utters]. At the same time
Flowers will be mature during spring. Small-rivers will be currents of silver.
Meat-rotate-cook-apparatus will turn with result pungent in smell. Young women
will wear linen dresses. Now and in the future all is beautiful. Thus are the
light-emitting selling-signs and the cars and the rural eating-celebrations
and the moths which dance orbiting lights."

.i.o'onai mabla tcini .i .e'u pensi la'ede'u .i ge rodapede'u cajeba zasti
gi do caku puco'u co'e .iba'o setci do le dertu vu le narkiryri'a mrostafoi
.i ca le seltei le nunke'i cu mukti lenu jelgau le xlali laktergu'i gi'e se
jdaselsku la ciroi censa .ibabo le jibni se mitlanzu be do to'e morji do
.i co'a senpi cisma gi'e bazabo dizysa'e ke clackasu cmila .ila'a loi
malgerku cu pincypra ne'a le mrostu be do .ibaza re remyma'utei no prenu
tadni tu'a do to ma .ianai tadni le riryriryrirni toi .ija'ebo doi bebna
.uuru'e no kantu be do ba se sinma vi levi rolzda

(Anger) Damnable situation. (Suggestion) think of the previously said. Both
all to do with the above will exist and you will at the same time have in
the past stopped (). Have already inserted you into the dirt far away at a
non-thanking-cause dead-stay-field. At the start of the time the pity will
motivate the lighting of the bad wax-source-of-light and to pray the Three
Times Holy. LAter the close members of the same family as you will unremember
you. Start doubt smiling and after a while low-sound loud-mock laughing.
(Probable) Damnable dogs urine-produce adjacent to the dead-place of you.
[Note that site of death would be nunmrostu]. After two human-mature-times
zero persons will study the action of you (who? (Disbelief) studies the
rearer's rearer's rearer) As a result O fool (slight pity) no quantum of
you will be respected in this all-house.

ni'o do caco'a cinmo leka lenku

.ilu .ii.i'enai mi se funca lo xlali li'u

.i le lijda cu denpa la'edi'u .i denpa lenu pe'a renro do le to'e pacna
jinto condi po'a .icabo dunda le xance do

.ilu ko kansa mi li'u

lu ki'a li'u

lu ko kansa mi doi bebna .i do banai morsi .i mi na'e curmi li'u

lu zo'onaipei li'u

lu to'unai .e'o ko jimpe .i do baje'u morsi .iku'i tu'a mi rinka lenu mo
.i rinka lenu mo .u'a li'u

zo mo

lu baku'aroroiru'i jmive li'u

You now start emoting coldness.

"(Fear Disapproval) I have a bad think as luck."

Religion waits for that. Waits that "throws you to the unhope well deep thing"
At the same time gives the hand to you.

"Be with me"

"(Huh?)"

"Accompany me O fool. You will not in the future be dead. I do not allow."

"(Serious?)"

"(In detail Request) Do understand. You in the future will (true) be dead.
But I will cause what? Cause what (Eureka!)?"

"What?"

"Future-intersect-always living"

.i le lijda cu kargau le vorme .i le xriso zo'u klagau do le tutrparadiso
poi blarulkemymlecairpurdi .i le muslo zo'u go'i fi le tutrparadiso poi
bicyzdajozrismysa'istu .i le xindo zo'u go'i fi le tcinrnirvana ne le
romei ka panpi .i ro malpre capu zbasu le tutrparadiso po vo'a si'u le
kinplapre pe vo'a gi'e ca venci'i ra tai tu'a lo dragugvi'e briju .imezoify.
Visitez les Canaries fy .e loi drata xamgu .ianai

Religion open-acts the door. For the Christian, go-acts you the territory
Paradise which is blue-flower-(-beautiful-intense-garden. For the Muslim,
ditto the territory Paradise which is bee-food-'n'-rice-meal-place. For the
Hindu, ditto the situation nirvana to do with allsome peacefulness. All
damnable person has in the past built the territory paradise of him helped
by the movie-plan-person of him and now sell-describes it in the manner of a
other-country-visit office. To do with "V l C" and other good things (Yeah,
right...)

ni'o do ga'iro'a na se xamgu lenu ba'e do co'u zasti gi'e binxo lo dertu kei
.alenu le terzba be do ja'i leka lo marji na selspo cu se xruti le dertu tolu
ju'ido'u vencu loi slabu terzba pera'i lonu dinju to'ezba li'utoikei .alenu
le pruxi be do cu krefu runta le banli flecu no'u le munje gi'e manfo pagbu ri
gi'e cirko leka sevzi .iji'ubo le nunmoi cu dunli lenu da cirko le sevzi be da
.iku'i pe'i se cusku mi .iji'a no te fatri cu cpacu lo prali befi tu'a le
curple .i le turni kanmi be le kagni cuku'i romei le xamgu citka .ipe'i
di'uji'a puza se cusku mi .ikau .i'a mi se jdadapma

The above is the actual situation. () expressed "Religion is to do with a
corporation which divides part-own a nonexisting metal-getting-plce permission-
papers . I don't name-remember () [cmemo'i: morji le cmene .i le morji cu
cmemo'i le cmene le se cmene le te cmene] However (I opine) was said by me.
(Also) No person to whom was distributed gets a profit from that to do with the
permission-paper. The govern committee of the company however is all of those
who are the good eaters. (I opine) that (also) was said by me. (Known Accept)
I am religion-cursed.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Nick Nicholas, Melbourne Uni, Australia.  nsn@{munagin.ee|mullauna.cs}.mu.oz.au
"Despite millions of dollars of research, death continues to be this nation's
number one killer"      - Henry Gibson, Kentucky Fried Movie
_______________________________________________________________________________