Chinese Whispers #2 - Report

[Jorge Llambias <jorge@PHYAST.PITT.EDU>]

Here are the results of the second Chinese whispers. My comments follow.

1. Ray Bradbury _There will come soft rains_

        Dawn showed faintly in the east. Among the ruins, one wall stood
alone. Within the wall, a last voice said, over and over again and again,
even as the sun rose to shine upon the heaped rubble and steam: "Today is
August 5, 2026, today is August 5, 2026, today is..."

2. Jorge:

le cermurse cu kandi tolcanci le stuna i pa bitmu noi jbini lei selspo
cu pamei sanli i ne'i le bitmu lo romoi voksa cu cusku sei krefu sei krefu
ca ji'a le nu le solri ba'o galbi'o gi'e tergu'i le rokspi derxi e le bumru
kei lu cabdei detri fa li mupi'ebipi'erenorexa i cabdei detri fa
li mupi'ebipi'erenorexa i cabdei detri li'o li'u

3. Iain:

The dawn dimly appears in the east.  One wall, amongst those
destroyed, stands alone.  Within the wall a final voice says
(again, again, as also the sun reaches its zenith and
illuminates the heaps of rubble and the mist) "Today's date
is the 5th of August 2026.  Today's date is the 5th of August
2026.  Today's date ..."

4. Chris:

du'a co'a kandi cermurse .i pa bitmu leka sanli cu se steci lei
se daspo bitmu .i ne'i le bitmu lo za'o voksa cu cusku (to poi
krefu je krefu ca'o ji'a lenu le solri cu klama le sy. galjimte
gi'e tergusni lei se porpi ke darxi .e loi cimdilnu ku'o toi)
lu lo cabdei ku se detri li mu pi'e bi pi'e renorexa .i lo
cabdei ku se detri li mu pi'e bi pi'e renorexa .i lo cabdei ku
se detri li'o li'u

5. Don:

In the east, a pale dawn begins.  A wall stands amongst the ruined walls.
Within the wall, a persistent voice says, (which repeats and repeats while,
also, the sun rises to its zenith and illuminates the wreckers and the mist),
"Today is the fifth of August 2026.  Today is the fifth of August 2026.  Today
is...".

6. Goran:

.i du'a co'a kandi cerni .i lo bitmu cu jbini loi selspo bitmu .i ze'o
le go'i le refkrefu beca'o lenu ji'a le solri ge galmu'u gi te gusni loi
daspo .e lo bumru cu renvi cusku lu li mupi'ebipi'erenorexa cabdetri .i
li mupi'ebipi'erenorexa cabdetri .i limupi'erepi'e li'u

7. And:

East of here dawns a dim morn. A wall separates ruins of walls.
Outside the wall, somthing that re-recurs during, also, the sun's
ascension and its illumination of ruins and mist keeps on saying:
"5.8.2026 is the date; 5.8.2026 is the date; 5.2.".

---------------------------------

Not too bad.

Here's where some of the differences came from:

- I used "ca ji'a le nu..." for "even as...", which is not quite right,
but I still haven't figured out how to express this sense of "even".

- Ray's "the ruins" became my {lei selspo} which became Iain's "those
destroyed", which were subsequently taken to be destroyed walls rather
than ruins in general.

- The zenith appeared and then disappeared again, so And's final version
is close to the original in that respect.

- The voice remained inside the wall until Goran used {ze'o} which
threw And off. I think {ze'o} means "beyond", despite the confusing
"outward" of the gi'uste. "Outward" should be {fa'ane'inai} "in the
direction of the outside" or {mo'ine'inai} "moving to the outside".

- Goran forgot to use {li'o}.

- I didn't mark the past tense and everybody assumed the present.

All in all, I think we did a good job.

Jorge